The uncertainty I felt during pregnancy

Do you know those moments in your life that are so impactful you remember everything including that same feeling you felt during that particular time? That’s what happened after I read a positive pregnancy test at only 18. I didn’t know what to do so I immediately stepped outside and called my best friend.

In such an unknown territory she didn’t know what to say and I was filled with even more doubt. Pregnancy is always met with uncertainties and when it happens to you and it’s unplanned it feels even more scary. I didn’t know how I’d support a baby financially much less emotionally. I barely knew what I was going to do with my own life, how was I suppose to responsible for someone else’s?

Luckily I had some support from my family. Not a lot of support but it was enough to help me realize I was able to be a parent. Looking back, I would have benefited from calling a helpline like Free Women’s Clinic. I had so many questions and I felt as if my close friends and family were not able to give me good answers. It left me with a lot of doubt throughout my entire pregnancy. The doubt was only lessened after I gave birth.

My doubts during pregnancy were a lot to deal with at times. I didn’t know if I was doing everything right or if I should eat this or take that? It was exhausting at times but I was grateful I did have support from my doctor. I was scared of delivery as it was so unknown. Yet, once I was in the hospital the nurses made me feel comfortable and capable of delivery. If I would have had access to an organization that led me to different resources to ease my concerns I know my pregnancy would have been less stressful.

As with anything in life it is full of uncertainties. Pregnancy was full of uncertainties but all was fine once the birth of my son happened. Parenting will always be full of uncertainties but the joy I find in it definitely makes up for it.

I had someone, rudely tell me I should have given my son up for adoption. Although it was an option I considered, it didn’t seem like the right option for me. And that’s the biggest lesson I’ve learned from my unplanned pregnancy. Some people think they know what’s best for you but it really comes down to how you feel in your own heart. And in my heart it was to raise my son. It hasn’t always been easy but the rewards and way it’s change my life has been very much worth it.