When those two pink lines showed up, my heart began beating faster and faster. There were so many emotions and thoughts as I tried to think about the next few years in a few moments.
I’m going to be a mom?
I’m going to be a mom…but I’m not ready for that.
It was a passing moment for me, but for some it is a worry that fills them. The truth is, I wasn’t ready to be a parent.
NO ONE IS READY TO BE A PARENT…NO ONE
No amount of planning can get you “ready” to know with certainty what is going to happen.
Marriage- Being married helps, but is it impossible to raise a wonderful child as a single parent? Absolutely. You undoubtedly know a single-mother who is raising a great child. There are men out there who are very willing to be role models for your child- community leaders, church leaders, educators, friends and family members.
Education- I haven’t finished college so I am not ready to be a mother. I have a master’s degree and though it helps me in the corporate world, so many things I had to learn to be a mother they did not teach me at school. So is a college education a must for a mom? Absolutely not. How many wonderful mothers do you know that do a fantastic job, but did not pursue a higher degree?
Money- This is a big one. I don’t have enough money. Children can be expensive, this is true. They don’t have to be as expensive as you think. Government, churches and communities offer programs and activities for parents. You can apply for formula, food, diapers, car seats, and even help with day-care. Too overwhelmed to try or need some help? Call us, we can give you some helpful resources.
Support- No one can raise a child alone. Everyone needs support. If you don’t have built in support from a spouse or family member that doesn’t mean you can’t find support. Look for a local mom’s group. You can do this before the baby is born. I met some great mothers-to-be at Mom Expos, Community Pre-Natal Events, Hospital Mom-to-Be classes, and a local baby store (GranolaBabies) that had free classes.
And honestly the fact that you could not keep a plant or that pet goldfish alive does not count when it comes to having an actual human being.
Adventures Don’t Come with Maps
Having a child is an adventure and adventures rather come with specific point-by-point maps. You won’t know what is going to happen so why dwell on the negative possibilities. What about the smiles, warm hugs, and laughter?
The question you truly have to ask yourself is, “Do I want to be a parent”?
If you decide you do, there is no obstacle that can stand in your way. They can give you the lists, tell you that you are not “ready” but if you decide to become a parent, you will find the resources and determination.
If you want to attend college, pursue a career, or truly don’t feel ready to raise a child that is fine. Some women feel like they don’t have a choice so they choose to abort their pregnancy rather than give up their dreams or have the baby and forego what they wanted. These are not your only choices. Rather than have an abortion, you could choose adoption. There is another family out there is ready to adopt and receive the gift they have been waiting to receive. You might not want to become a parent, but someone else is on a waiting list, hoping to become one.
The decision to become a parent is not an easy one and many people find out that they are pregnant before they ever thought about becoming a parent. Just know that you have choices. If you are unsure about what to do, we can help you look at your options.