Have you ever wondered: Is our relationship is healthy?
A friend might have even joked that you are so codependent, but what does that mean? Are you in a codependent relationship?
According to Scott Wetzler, PhD, psychology division chief at Albert Einstein College of Medicine, "Codependent relationships signify a degree of unhealthy clinginess, where one person doesn't have self-sufficiency or autonomy. One or both parties depend on their loved ones for fulfillment."
Answer the following Yes or No questions:
Are you unable to find satisfaction in your life outside of your boyfriend?
Do you recognize unhealthy behaviors in your partner but stay with him or her in spite of them?
Does your girlfriend/boyfriend have an anger problem, depression?
Does your girlfriend suffer from alcoholism or have an eating disorder?
Are you giving support to your partner at the cost of your own mental, emotional, and physical health?
Do you have other friendships other than your girlfriend/boyfriend?
Do you have time with friends of the same sex?
Do you spend time with your family anymore?
Do you feel like if you were not with your boyfriend/girlfriend they would be lost or all alone?
Do you do things for your partner that he or she can and should be doing, all in the name of love?
Do you feel responsible for your partner's actions and behaviors?
Does your boyfriend/girlfriend moods affects your day? Not just once in awhile but often?
Do you have trouble pinpointing your own feelings and thoughts, or you diminish/deny how you feel?
If you answered yes to a majority of these questions, you might want to reconsider your relationship.
Why does it matter?
A codependent is one who attempts to control others by threats, manipulation, acting helpless, making them feel guilty, or by giving advice.
This triangle gives illustrates of what happens in co-dependent relationships. By becoming more familiar with how this cycle works, you can look at how your relationship work.
Basically, there are three roles that people will take on and occupy at an given point on the triangle. These roles are rescuer, persecutor, and victim. You can learn more here.
A co-dependent relationship is not a healthy one. Ignoring the problem will not go away and sometimes the best solution IS breaking up. We recommend you talk to a counselor or mental health professional to get help. If you want to talk about your relationship, call us. We are here to listen.