Adoption, It’s Not What You Think…

There are so many ideas floating around about adoptions. Many of them are ideas found on televisions or in books. The best way to get information is to ask someone who is adopted, or has adopted someone. If you would like to speak with someone, contact Options United and we will do all we can to help.


Did you know the birth parent can be as involved as they want?


When you think of adoptions do visions of Oliver Twist come to mind? Perhaps leaving a basket on the driveway? The truth is, you can be as involved as you want to be.  Generally, there are two types of adoption: Closed and open.

A closed adoption is one where no identifying information about the birth family or the adoptive family is shared between the two, and there is no contact between the families.  As the adoptive family, you will receive non-identifying information about the child and birth family before he or she joins your family.  After your adoption is finalized, the records are sealed.  Depending on local law and what paperwork was signed and filed when the adoption was finalized, these records may or may not be available to the adopted child when they reach 18.  If you wish to give a gift to another family without seeing them that is your right and option.

An open adoption allows for some form of association among the birth parents, adoptive parents and the child they adopted. This can range from picture and letter sharing to phone calls, or open contact among the parties themselves.  Some families welcome not only the addition of a child to their family, but also their birth parent. Birth parents are invited to be part of the child’s life- attending birthday parties, games, graduations or whatever is mutually decided.

There is also a third kind of adoption, Semi-Open Adoption – An adoption in which some contact is maintained between the birth family and adoptive family, usually without the exchange of identifying information and often facilitated by an adoption agency or another third party. This usually includes sending letters and pictures between adoptive parents and birth parents through the agency as a middle-person.

You can also be as involved as you want to be in choosing adoptive parents. Some birth parents look through books, reading biographies of possible parents. The level of contact is based on the birth parents comfort.


Did you know there are many women desperate for a child you could be helping?

Did you know that some women have been waiting years to adopt a baby? Infertility affects about 12% of couples of childbearing age.  Many have been waiting years to adopt a child.  You could be giving a family a gift they have most desperately wanted.


It was too expensive. Did you know that you could get help with Medical costs?

In most states, adoptive parents can pay a birth family's reasonable medical, legal, and counseling expenses. Many also permit some assistance with living expenses (usually within specific guidelines).


There is a fear the child you gave up for adoption will end up living an unhappy life or resenting you.  This is more of a fear than a reality. Happiness is not guaranteed no matter how you are raised. Babe Ruth, Dave Thomas, Steve Jobs, Scott Hamilton, Melissa Gilbert, Faith Hill, Ray Liotta, and Kristin Chenoweth were all adopted.  I have several friends who are adopted- both male and female. Most of them are now parents with children of their own. They are all different but they are all thankful for the gift of their lives- the ability to make mistakes and have a future.


If you or anyone you know would like to discuss their adoption options, please call Options United and we can help you with any information you need.