I have friends that thought having a child would ruin their relationship. It definitely changes things early on, but I feel in my case it was for the better. My husband and I have to communicate better and we value the time we are able to spend together. One child is great but will having another child ruin our relationship?

I’ve heard couples complain that everything changed once they had two.  They were stressed, broke, and exhausted. It made me wonder if this was really the case or if those were just the more vocal people on the internet. So I asked my friends and family and most were overwhelmingly happy that they had a second, third, fourth child.

They said:

They all had days that they wondered what they had done but overall they were much happier.

It was easier because the children could play together.

They didn’t have to worry about their child being too selfish or not knowing how to share.

They had to work as a team, budget, and pay attention, which made them have to have conversations with each other.

They loved seeing their children interact. There were undoubtedly fights but there were tender sibling moments that they would recount fondly.

The sleepless nights are temporary. Even the stress is temporary. Just stick it out for a few years and then you have these amazing little people who have so much to share. They are so worth the time.

Advice for other couples?

Make sure you make time for yourself, even if it is an hour a night. Many put their children to bed early as a rule so they can have some couple time together. Date nights are important for your relationship.

Try and make family time family time.

Make sure you have a budget. Money stress can show itself in a lot of ways. You can afford a lot more than you think you can if you budget. Some had more money than they thought after they did a budget.

If someone offers help, take it. Having an amazing babysitter or family member that babysits is a goal.

Make sure you both also have friends of the same sex. Having a guys night or a girls night every once in awhile is essential.

Having one child or two can strain your relationship. Look, if there are problems sometimes stress just shows you where they are. Look at it as an opportunity to get better.  Eventually the children are going to move out and it will be just the two of you again. Don’t put your relationship on hold.  Take the time to communicate and be self-less. It will make your relationship so much stronger and last so much longer.

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